Archive for January, 2009

Be A Love Detective Part 1

“My husband never says, I love you anymore.”

Why is it that men are so resistant to the “L” word?

Why is it that women are so addicted to it?

Does saying “I love you” really matter?

What? You say.

Of course it matters. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t love me.

Wait just a moment….did you say that a man cannot love you without saying I love you?

Think about that one for a minute.

Is it possible for a man to love you WITHOUT telling you so? And why is it so bleeping important to HEAR those three little words.

That being said, is it also possible that our addiction to hearing those three words closes us to other expressions of love that are right in front of our noses?

I want to throw another perspective unto the table.

What if we women could back off on our insistence that love be expressed on our terms and our terms only?

What if we could become Love Detectives and search out the clues that lead to our understanding of just how much our men DO care for us?

What if we could put aside our need to hear those words and instead begin celebrating the clues we find?

I am listening……

I can just hear some of you screaming in protest! “I already do most of the work and don’t want to be a Love Detective! I want him to shape up!”

I know, I know but believe me, your man will step up to the plate when you take some of the pressure off of him. Believe it or not, he is doing the best he can. He has no idea how to make you feel loved and you and I both know that men don’t like to be in situations where they may appear weak and clueless.

So what to do? Tune in next post and I will lay out the plan…..

Once upon a time, a young mom with a bright, beautiful future embraced her life with all of her heart.

She loved her children, her husband and her life. She had no idea what lay ahead for her. She adored being a mom and was lucky enough to be able to take a couple years off to spend at home with her kids.

What she couldn’t see happening at the time was the slow, steady and inevitable diminishing of her connection to her husband and their marriage. Who knows what the first clues were.

She didn’t hear her heart whispering to her, “Something is wrong here, recalculate your settings, you are closing yourself to the dreams of love for the sake of avoiding conflict and fighting.”

Because she couldn’t hear the wisdom of her heart, calling her to see LOVE as something she could nurture and invest in, she began FIGURING OUT how to find happiness.

Instead of living a HEART CENTERED LIFE, she cleverly created an INTELLECTUAL AND HEAD CENTERED LIFE that worked, or rather seemed to work, for many years.

She had no idea how much more difficult, in fact, how nearly impossible it is to create a sustainable relationship with HEAD CENTERED reasoning.

She felt strong and capable, and no, she DIDN’T FEEL LOVED, the way she felt others were loved, but she made her home, raised her children, went back to work and lived life figuring that FEELING DEEPLY LOVED was just not her fate.

Fast Forward…..Children grown, marriage in pieces, heavily medicated with anti depressant medication–a life changing AHA experience woke her up from her complacent coma and blasted her into a completely different world.

The girl in this picture, the 29 year old mom glowing with hope and purpose, is me. I am so glad that even though life has taken paths I never anticipated, I STILL BELIEVE IN LOVE…..1000%.

I believe in SOUL MATE LOVE even more than I ever did. I know my first husband was my soul mate. I loved him completely and focused my life around him. I have two fantastic children and the world’s cutest grandbaby.

I also have been blessed with a SECOND SOUL MATE….a second chance at love….a second chance at life as someone’s BELOVED.

DON’T GIVE UP ON LOVE.

IF YOU BELIEVE THERE IS A SOUL MATE OUT THERE……DON’T GIVE UP!

IF YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN BRING SOUL MATE LOVE BACK INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP….YOU ARE RIGHT!

Being someone’s BELOVED is a sweet deeply soul satisfying place to live.

I wish that for each and everyone of you!

Together we can create HEART CENTERED relationships, we have much to teach to one another and we MUST START AT HOME.

Can you be the SOULMATE OF YOUR SOUL? Are you willing to BE THE SOUL MATE your future partner is searching for?

Sound in….DO YOU STILL BELIEVE IN SOUL MATES?