Archive for March, 2009

You look hot and you know it. New shoes, new makeup, new dress. Mani and Pedi with hot wax treatment. You spend the extra twenty minutes to look just right. You walk out to living room and he says:

“We‘re late, are you finally ready?”

What?

Isn’t this the same man who told you how beautiful you are every time you went anywhere, even to Home Depot? Do you miss his compliments? Do you miss how he used to look at you?

It is not unusual for your man to fall into a flow of day to day life where your appearance is not the most important thing to him. Try not to assume anything or read anything into his misstep.

Instead, take some action and get yourself noticed! One of my client’s mantras is “Why is it always up to the women?” I know, I know, but think of it this way. He doesn’t know how much this is bothering you so you need to let him know. When you can start to get compliments from other people and enjoy them, the pressure is off of him to be your sole provider!

Meanwhile, here are three action steps that will get you into the flow of compliments that are already all around you:

1. Ask for compliments. This is a radical idea, not for the faint of spiritual heart. Start your day asking the Universe, the Divine or whatever you call your higher power to send you people who will compliment you. The Law of Attraction LOVES an assignment like this. You ask and then just watch what happens as you go about your business. Try it. Getting compliments always feels terrific and they don’t have to just come from your man!

2. Compliment yourself. This may sound a little loony to you, don’t blame you for that, but it really works. How can we expect compliments from our men when we don’t even appreciate our own looks? Tell yourself how hot you look and do it out loud. Amazing how a week of this will feed your need to feel great about yourself!  Can more romance be far behind?

3. Compliment random strangers. Think how great it feels when someone notices your new haircut or shoes. Plan on complimenting three strangers a day on something you admire. Watch their reaction; see if you catch any delight or self-consciousness.

Think of giving compliments as planting seeds. The more you plant, the more luscious fruit you will reap. After one week of your new complimenting habit, re-evaluate exactly how you want your man to respond to your fashion choices and how you look. Then tell him kindly and directly how his words make you feel. If you don’t need all your complimenting from him, he just may surprise you!

You Hold His Heart In Your Hands

Things are tough these days. It doesn’t take a masters in economics to know that there is a dark

shadow hanging over the men in our lives.

With women taking more and more of a role in the money making and financial contributions at home, men are struggling to know what we expect from them. There is a primal urge in men to be the protectors and defenders and the stark reality of our national money problems is really shaking things up.

What is a Soul Mate to do? Learning to MANIFY your man is critical to making him feel cherished, admired and respected. When he feels appreciated this way, affection is more natural. You are the one reading this article and it is you who can start a change in the atmosphere in your home.

Here are Five Keys To Connecting To Your Man. Your acceptance of him, especially when he is so uncertain about his role will reap huge rewards for you!

1. Check Your Thoughts At The Door. Thinking about how he is letting you and the family down is not helping anything. Do a thought audit. Any thoughts that hold an opinion about what he is NOT doing need to be redirected. The easiest way to do this is to put “Even though” at the beginning of the thought and “I choose to love him anyway” at the end. For example:

“He won’t ask for more hours and I hate that because if he did, we would have more money.” Changes to: “Even though I hate it when he won’t ask for more hours, I choose to love him anyway.”

2. Praise Him For What He Is Doing. Ladies, we must be creative. Your man wants to hear how proud you are of him. There are opportunities every day to let him know you appreciate what he is trying to do, ESPECIALLY when you are aware of what he is not doing. Even if it is something like, “Honey, I love how responsible you are about getting to work on time every day.” or even “I am so impressed with how hard you work for us.” He LOVES your sincere praise.

3. Ask How You Can Support Him. He may say there is nothing you can do, and that is ok. He has his share of worries. Kindly asking “Is there anything I can do to support you right now?” may help him by opening his mind to asking you for help at a later time.

4. Make Him His Favorite Meal. This is such a simple but profound way to show your man how important he is to you. The way to a man’s heart IS his stomach and a warm meal prepared with love will always make him feel cherished.

5. Invite Him To Have Sex With You. This may be a challenge for you, especially if you are feeling overwhelmed yourself. Sex is comforting to a man and MANIFIES him like nothing else. Once you are determined to make your man feel cherished and you follow the other steps to connect with him, you will find it much easier to open yourself to a loving encounter.

When you are committed to being a Soul Mate to your man, he will get it. He may not understand what you are doing but he will feel the change in your attitude and you will be amazed at the changes you will see in him!

Ever wonder how some people seem to attract the perfect person at the exact right time?

Whether it is a new friend, a hot new business prospect or a new crush, there are some of us who seem naturally attractive to strong relationships across the board.

Don’t you wish that was you?  It can be.

My experience with countless people desiring deep connection that disappears time and again is that their Love Set Point is set too low.

Somehow many of us have gotten to a place in our lives where all we attract are incomplete and unfulfilling love relationships. When we move from person to person, the bottom line stays the same. The love we thought was there is not.

What if your Love Set Point IS set too low and you aren’t aware of it?

Here are five signs of a low Love Set Point

1. You have a difficult time sustaining long term same sex friendships. People continually disappoint you and let you down.  It seems no one is in it for the long haul and you drift from friendship to friendship.

2. You procrastinate. Think of procrastination as passive aggressive behavior toward yourself.  If you tag on a little perfectionism you have the ultimate in torture…being a procrastinating perfectionist is the pits!

3. You are working in a job where you are not respected or appreciated. Like a penny under a bowling ball,  you  hate where you are but feel paralyzed and unable to look for new career options.

4. You find it impossible to say no. You feel guilty or afraid of displeasing people so you say yes way to often.

5. Road Rage. You know who you are, you ragers you!

What if you could reset your Love Set Point and finally attract the kind of people and experiences that make you feel loved, appreciated and connected? When you are annoyed or frustrated, think about what that wave of emotion reminds you of.  Chances are there is a betrayal or disappointment in the past that carries some of the same energy as that recent annoyance.

Looking back at a past situation with your now mature eyes may be enough to shake yourself out of your mood.  If not, use one of your tools or processes to express what the experience feels like to you.  Whether you journal, run, dance, paint, tap or pet your cat; choose something to focus on that will bring you some relief.  Your love set point will naturally recover as you move forward and release old situations and relationships.

I know you are lonely.

Spring is almost here and you see couples holding hands everywhere you go  and you are dreading being alone…again.

I know that the economy is depressing and you are surrounded with annoying people day and night.

I also know that you can do something about it.

Did you know that focused attention to any one of the five senses brings you physiologically into the present. Where your body leads, your mind will follow. When one of your senses is consciously engaged you can feel you body relax, if you are paying attention, and that will calm you. You will actually feel better. The body always feels better when it is relaxed.

When you are in the present, aware of your physical world, you are actually more attractive to those people who will bring fun and love into your life!!

Let your nose lead the way and choose aromas you are drawn to during creative or productive times of day. Bring something that smells amazing into your home. Be willing to invest in yourself in this small way. When attracted to a scent, buy it. Then choose to notice it.

Here are five ways to connect to your nose, it does know best, after all!!

1. Get several aromatic candles. Visit a candle store and just keep smelling them until you find one you really like. If you don’t like any of them, just wait til a different time and try again. You will be drawn to certain aromas. Invest in that aroma and when you get it home, enjoy it consciously.

2. Bring fresh flowers into your home. This is a simple thing to do. Find a farmer’s market near you and shop there the same way. See which ones smell the best to you. I often buy two bouquets at a time. Even super markets carry aromatic bunches year round. Of course, you do have to put up with the side effect of stunning beauty that now lives in your environment!

3. Go Outside. Go outside on purpose three more times than you typically do every day for a week. Three calculated times and during each one, smell deeply. Close your eyes and smell deeply. Make it a goal that at least three times that week, you get to a beautiful place, park, zoo, beach, museum, and focus on what those places smell like. Breathe it in.

3. Open the windows. Even if it is cold outside, just go open the windows and let air in every room. Amazing how we don’t think to do that. Allowing a stream of air run through your home will always leave you feeling refreshed. Notice how different the house smells when you have opened it up.

4. Light Incense. Incense has been used for thousands of years to transform the energy of a room. There are certain scents who have specific properties that inspire various moods. When you go to an incense shop. Smell them first before you see what they are good for. You will be drawn by what you like.

5. Oil Rings. At your neighborhood New Age shop, you can find oil essences and a ring that goes around a light bulb. As the bulb gets warm, a gentle fragrance fills the room. This can be more subtle than incense.

Just focusing on what you are smelling, making conscious choices to smell things on purpose for a week will bring you to a real sense of presence. Body awareness is the key to outrageous self confidence.

Try it for a week, I dare ya!

Bonus Exercise: Just choose to enjoy the aromas that are around you every day when you slice in to an orange, grind your coffee, walk in to a barbecue place or make toast, I won’t tell anybody!

Bonus Romance Reward: When you are “in the moment”, aware of what it is your are sensing with your body at any one moment, you are your authentic self and right in that moment you are attracting the love you are desiring. Spend as many of these moments as you can, that’s right, spend them. You are investing those moments of awareness and relaxing the body are you at your best. Who wouldn’t fall in love with that in a woman.