Archive for May, 2009

Meeting and marrying a man who had been single for 13 years before I came along has definite advantages.

One of his most appealing qualities was his facility with household chores. He did his own laundry (a huge plus) and while he had a housekeeper, he kept his home neatly, took out his own trash and cleaned the cat box for his elderly kitty.

Now that we have been together for a few years, we started experiencing a little tension around who should be in charge of what tasks around the house. We didn’t talk about it much and I could feel some resentment creeping in as I took on the cat poo-poo responsibilities and I could sense in him the same as he took out the trash and recycling.

In my first marriage, there were very strong traditional lines drawn with household jobs. There were women’s tasks and men’s tasks and I lived with a lot of unrecognized resentment. I say unrecognized because I really and truly thought that I was NOT resentful. Needless to say, our lives were full of passive aggressive behavior from both sides.

One of the keys to the success of our second marriage is that we are both DETERMINED TO STAY OPEN TO ONE ANOTHER and to work out our differences before they become too big to manage. The cool thing is that having that as our main focus brings a lot of creativity in dealing with piddly distractions like who does what around the house.

Hence, the ZONE METHOD was born.

“Honey?” I said, batting my cute little eyes, “What if we divided the house into zones and took charge of our own zone on a daily basis?”

Looking at me a bit suspiciously, after all, his ex never approached him like this, he asked for more details. I explained what I had in mind. Zone one would be the kitchen and zone two would be the living room and dining room. He liked the idea. We could switch zones weekly so that neither would get tired of doing the same chores all the time. We agreed to have our zone done by 4 in the afternoon.

Meanwhile, we still are in charge of our own laundry, although I have been known to toss a few pairs of panties in with his clothes now and then to keep him on his toes! We each clean a cat box and we often share cooking and cleaning up for each other. We make the bed together every day…I have to say, this one is more important to him than me. I slept in an unmade bed most of the time when I was single….a member of the “It-is-only-going-t0-get-messed-up-anyway” club.

The result? We have a nicely straightened house most of the time. Each of us knows what is expected of us by the other partner and there is none of that sneaky resentment stuff creeping in. I love the ZONE METHOD and so does my hubby. If you want to try it yourself, here are some tips:

1. Both of you write two lists: the household tasks that you don’t mind doing and the ones you hate doing. Sometimes one of your hated tasks is one your partner doesn’t mind doing at all. This is a great starting point for creating your zones.

2. Agree on two to three tasks that will always be your responsibility. Perhaps it will be your laundry as it is with my hubby and me. We also are in charge of our offices.

3. Pick at least one task you can do together. We cook and clean the kitchen together at least once a week and we also do projects like gardening or cleaning the garage to work on together. We put on some tunes and beebop our way through the task at hand.

4. Once you pick your zones, agree on a schedule to switch so that you are fresh and motivated to deal with your zone. When we first started, Larry chose to do the kitchen as a permanent zone. I had the living room and dining room. Well, he tired of the kitchen after a month or so and we switched. I LOVE doing the kitchen now after a month off and he is happily taking care of the other rooms.

5. Celebrate your success. Compliment your partner on his or her zone. Tell your partner not only how much up appreciate your newly ordered home, but how very much you appreciate the ATTITUDE of cooperation that is happening. Resentment has no place in a SOUL MATE relationship and with plans like the ZONE METHOD, you can keep those love fires burning!

Love Golf? Swing on over to Golf In Love, my new blog!

Moving from across the country, meeting a soul mate was not my first priority.

I divorced after 29 years and quite frankly, I was having a ball being single! I particularly remember the first time I took myself out for dinner at a beach front fine dining establishment here in San Diego. A million miles away from my life in Milwaukee as a wife and mom of two now adult kids and professional golf instructor, I toasted to my own future.

I had a plan, sort of, to meet people and make a new life for myself and I forged ahead with more courage I didn’t know I had. Starting life over at 50 for me was spectacular and I have had the time of my life, even though I had a few unexpected challenges and setbacks. I thought I would teach golf in Southern California however that door didn’t open and so using painting ability I didn’t know I had til I was 48, I began painting murals in people’s homes and following the principles of the Law of Attraction, launched a small life coaching practice.

Today I am SO excited to be combining my two loves in what seems like a natural connection. You see, I DID attract my second Soul Mate and met him on the golf course….for real. My story is a happily ever after that I never expected. When I met Larry who routinely shoots even par golf, I didn’t see him as a love interest at all. We were golf buddies for over a year before before I saw him in a romantic way. That story is one worth telling and I am working on that right now! I am living the best mulligan ever!

If you are a golfer who is looking for love, I believe in you and your dream. Follow me on Twitter and I will share exactly how I met Larry and how we are keeping the Soul Mate Fires Burning. Love is so worth waiting for and searching for.

It feels amazing to be someone’s Beloved and I stand humbly grateful!

Are you ready for love? The SOUL MATE MASTERMIND begins June 1.

“Mommy, What’s A Soul Mate?”

The child with the big blue eyes and tousled blonde curls looked up to her mom curiously.

“Why do you ask?” She said

“I heard you talking to grandma last night and you sounded so sad when you told her you didn’t think you would ever find a soul mate again.”

“Oh”, she said, suddenly aware of how careless she was sometimes when she was talking to her mom. When did her daughter get so smart, she was only 4.

“Well,” she stalled, wondering how to explain, “a soul mate is someone who loves you no matter what.”

“I love you no matter what, mommy”

“I know you do, sweetie, but a soul mate love is different.” Fumbling for words, she went on, “a soul mate treats you like you are the most special person in the world.”

“You mean like the time that you stayed up with me when I had a fever?” the little girl asked looking at her with wide eyed innocence.

“Well, no, not really” she said helplessly with a sheepish smile, “A soul mate is someone who takes you out to fancy places to eat.”

‘You mean like Chuckie Cheese?”

“Sheesh, this is hard!” She thought to herself.

“A soul mate is someone who buys you beautiful presents and takes you dancing.”

The little girl was quiet.

“At last,” her mom thought hoping the third degree was finished.

“I would buy you beautiful things, momma.” She said with a serious look on her face, “if I had some money.”

Taking a deep breath, she tried once more. “A soul mate is someone who you comes in to your life who is special, someone who wants to be with you all the time and who is nice to you even if they are tired.”

“Mommy?”

Wincing she said, “Yes, honey.”

“I know what a soul mate is!” she said breathlessly.

“Tell me.” she said.

“A soul mate is a MOMMY!”

Laughing she reached down and picking up the child she twirled and danced with her through the kitchen and out into the living room. “Wanna go to Chuckie Cheese?” she asked holding her little soul mate close to her heart.

How would YOU answer that question today? What is a soul mate and why do we make such a big deal about it? Could it be that we spend so much time fantasizing about this mysterious and magical persona that we miss all the beautiful people crossing our paths every day?

I challenge you to answer that question for yourself. To make it even more interesting, write five attributes of a soul mate with your non-dominant hand. Go ahead, I dare you. Pay attention to the feelings that come up as you scrawl your answers in your unpracticed handwriting.

Maybe when you are done, you will realize that what you are wanting so desperately from life….the love and regard of another soul, is actually right in front of you every day, if you just keep watching for it.

Could The Soul Mate Success System Be What You Have Been Looking For?  Check it out: The Soul Mate Success System

She watched him walk away as she sipped the last of her pinot noir, his words echoing in her mind. “Someday you will have to open up and let a man in, you know.” He seemed terrific at first glance, good looking, well dressed, intelligent and funny. There was enough chemistry to keep her interested… at first.

As the evening wore down though, she went through her usual inner dialog:

“He’s got to have baggage”.

“No one can look that good and be a honest guy.”

“Only bad boys come in gorgeous packages.”

“I wonder why he is still single.”

“He will only end up leaving me for some one else.”

“He’s not all that interesting.”

“It is just not worth spending the time to go further.”

“How can I get out of this.”

She grabbed her cell phone from her purse and said, “I have to take this call, excuse me.” How many dates started and ended the same way. “Sorry, my boss…..” she said absent mindedly. As she went on into the dead cell phone…”Yes, I know, mmmm-hmmmm…”

He picked up the tab and went to the bar to settle up.

“Nice to meet you, maybe we could get together again sometime.”

“That would be nice.” She lied sweetly. She just wanted him to leave.

What about you? Do you keep attracting the same kind of person when you date?

Do you feel alone and unsupported in your search for LOVE and ROMANCE?

I have the answer for you. Join the SOUL MATE SUCCESS CIRCLE and TOGETHER we will attract all the love you need to RADICALLY CHANGE THE DIRECTION OF YOUR LIFE!

Imagine having your own personal cheerleaders supporting you every step of the way. That is what a MASTERMIND can do for you.

A mastermind group is a group of people who come together to mutually support each other in their pursuit of success. The idea is that the members of the mastermind group each provide vital skills and knowledge that other members may lack. They share and give advice so that they all may become successful.

Could a group of us come together and support one another to find THE KEY TO WILDLY SUCCESSFUL LOVE LIVES?

I say–YES, YES AND YES and I would LOVE to have YOU be part of that team!

Check out the SOUL MATE SUCCESS CIRCLE. You will be glad you did!

The Secret of The Soul Mate Master Mind

It Takes a Soul Mate To Attract A Soul Mate

REGISTER BELOW

“I just wanted to share with you that I just got back from the BEST first date I have ever had in my life. I am great if it goes somewhere and I’m great if it doesn’t. Either way–I had a wonderful day and met a fantastic man.” Pam

When Pam started to focus on BEING A SOUL MATE instead of LOOKING FOR A SOUL MATE, the Law of Attraction shifted with her and brought an entirely new type of man into her life.

Are you ready to take the steps YOU need to take to BE A SOUL MATE?

Do you believe it is still possible to find romance and love?

I do, and I know that Pam does too!

How about you? Say this sentence to yourself: “No matter what has happened in the past, I still believe it is possible for me to attract deep soul satisfying love.” How true does that feel?

Never give up on your dreams of being loved deeply and completely, like a soul mate. If Pam and I can do it, you can too. The secret is to BE A SOUL MATE FIRST.

Listen in on one of these FREE Preview Calls and get all the juicy SOUL MATE MASTERMIND details:

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Wednesday May 20 1 pm pacific/3 pm central/4 pm eastern Hosted by Nan Akasha

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Wednesday May 20 3 pm pacific/5 pm central/6 pm eastern Hosted By Carol Dickson-Carr

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Tuesday May 26 6 pm pacific/8 pm central/9 pm eastern Hosted By Rosey Dow

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The little boy lifted up his eyes holding the broken egg in his hands.

Big tears pooled in his brown eyes, “Now it will never be a chicken” he whispered. Big gnarled fingers reached down and tenderly took the cracked and leaking egg from the sweaty little hand.

“Can you fix it grandpa?” He looked up hopefully to the kind old man.

“No, this one is not going to make it, son,” he said gravely. “I know what to do.” He took the child’s hand in his own and picking up a shovel, turned to walk out to the garden. “If we bury the egg in the garden, a miracle will happen.”

The little boys big brown eyes widened. A miracle?

“How does that work, grandpa?”

“Nothing is wasted, everything has value. Some people see the broken shell and they cry. The Wise Ones taught us that brokenness is precious. They taught that what we DO with the brokenness is what is important.”

“But if the egg is broken, the dream is gone.” said the child with his head bowed.

The old farmer dug a small hole next to a young maple sapling. “You see, if we place the egg into the ground, it will feed the tree and the life of the chicken will be part of the tree.”

“Life is in everything,” he said, as he tamped the dirt around the sapling. “Imagine how the tree feels to be cared for by us and the egg that didn’t become a chicken.”

“It feels good to be loved.” said the child.

The old man reached down and stroked the child’s hair. “Yes, he said, it feels good to be loved.” He hoisted the shovel over his shoulder and holding the child’s hand, walked back toward the house.

Why is it so hard to say good bye to those past relationships that hold us back from finding new love? Isn’t the memory of a past hurt like that broken egg? Why do we hold on to things that have no more value, no more beauty…no more life?

No, you say, that thing that happened was WAY worse than a broken egg. Was it?

Sure you had your feelings hurt. There may have been betrayal and heartbreak. You may have thought you had found your soul mate. I don’t mean to belittle your relationship dramas and traumas. I know they hurt. But it is what you DO with what’s left that makes the difference.

Where can you bury YOUR empty shells? Finding someone who needs your help is a great way to start. There is nothing like volunteering to help someone less fortunate than you to snap you back to reality.

Instead of telling your story over and over and over again, make a plan. Vent if you must….for twenty minutes….no more. Then write one more final version of the drama and burn it, flush it or tear it into tiny pieces. Move on and move up to better feeling thoughts.

Was the child foolish to weep for the chicken that never would be? Aren’t you doing the same thing weeping for a relationship that just wasn’t meant to last? Be grateful that you were spared. Appreciate that you split up, learn from the experience and move on. You deserve to be happy and it will happen as you CHOOSE to think thoughts that make you feel good. It really will.

The Soul Mate Mastermind is being unveiled this week! Check it out!

Serves with passion and humor.
Orders her surroundings
Untangles her attachments.
Loves life every day.
Marches proudly to her own rhythm.
Asks for help when she needs it.
Tells fewer stories.
Enjoys the sweet love of a man.

There you have it. Which one did you like? Were you able to come up with one of your own? It is food for thought, isn’t it? What exactly DO you want when you say you want a soul mate?

Seasons strength with flexibility
Observes life neutrally
Unleashes her creativity
Listens with curiousity
Makes decisions strategically
Avails herself of help as needed
Takes inspired action
Embraces uncertainty

Solves personal challenges
Owns her choices
Uses her power easily
Leverages her strengths
Makes a contribution
Appreciates her connections
Trusts herself
Evokes authenticity

Shapes her thoughts wisely.
Opens herself to possibility
Uses resources wisely.
Likes who looks back at her in the mirror.
Mirrors the best in others.
Allows herself to be a beginner.
Tries new things regularly.
Enjoys meeting new people.