February is a cold, heartless month. 

Surrounded yet another year by cheesy slogans and sappy commercials, my ex might have been right.  Valentine’s Day just might be a conspiracy between the card companies, the florists and the chocolatiers.

Isn’t it kind of dumb to assign love to one month….one day?  What… you are supposed to treat someone casually for 364 days and then on that one day…..make up for it?

Valentine’s Day is only perfect for certain people at certain times.  If you score a date with a great new guy a month before Valentine’s day….ka—ching!  You can expect gifts, dinner and great wine.  I think guys are actually relieved to have a new girlfriend on the big day.  We are so easily impressed.

Other wise, singles hate Valentine’s Day because they are still single.  Married women hate it because it is never like it once was.  Men hate it because no matter what they do their woman is never satisfied.  And of course kids hate it because one, they didn’t get as many valentine’s as the popular kid and two, there’s a lot of pouting going on around the house.  I told you…February is a cold and heartless month!

If Valentine’s day sucks for you again this year and a part of you still longs to be with someone or to be really loved by your man.  I can help you.  Don’t give up.  Here are three ways to get past this inflated day and feel better:

1.  Give funny Valentine’s cards to 6 people who wouldn’t expect one from you.  People like your postman, UPS guy, Starbuck’s Barista, school bus driver or bank teller, people who you see everyday who serve you in some way.  Sweeten the pot by adding a lottery ticket.  Sure to bring a smile.

2.  Treat yourself to a spa treatment. Get a massage or mani/pedi in a massage chair.  My clients complain that they are not getting enough physical attention, you know what I mean?  You don’t need a boyfriend to massage your shoulders.  You can often get great rates on massage at a massage school in your town.  Check it out.

3.  Get involved with a charitable outreach of some kind. My hubby and I volunteer at the cat shelter to socialize the kittens and get them ready for adoption.  I love it.  I get to play with kittens, hold them and love them.  I also get to see the looks on the faces of the families who adopt them.  There is a lot of love to give and get in any kind of volunteerism.  The very best way to bring love closer.

How do I celebrate Valentine’s day?  My sweetie and I share a lot of romance during the year.  We have done the expensive dinners and the champagne by the fireplace.  This year we are going to an art show and a concert matinee.  We exchange small gifts and celebrate our finding one another.  I feel so lucky to have drawn this wonderful man into my life.

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

Are you 45 and single?

Have you ever thought that if Jennifer Aniston can’t find her soul mate, what hope do you have?

Are you frustrated by stagnant relationships on all sides?

Do you wonder if there is somebody out there for you at all?

I look at beautiful Jennifer who for all appearances has had some satisfying relationships with men over the years.  Some last longer than others, but she walks away from them with dignity and grace.  I have always admired that about her.  Years ago she appeared on Oprah and she and Oprah dressed in jammies as if they were having a sleep over.  She seems like a genuinely terrific person.

How can Jennifer not be with someone who is perfect for her? Personally, I can’t imagine the pressures of the hollywood lifestyle and I know nothing about her private life.  Not one for the tabloids I’m not really up to speed on the latest gossip either.

I just know that from speaking to hundreds of women now from all over the world, if you are single, there is a very good reason for it.  Some need to feel safe.  Some need to feel validated.  Some need to feel protected.  While these are fine things to want, there is one big problem.  This is a big key, don’t miss it.

No one can be 100% safe, validated or protected.  That’s right.  Life throws curve balls.  Unexpected things change in non-negotiable ways.  The only life guarantee we have is a simple one.  I guarantee you that you will find the wit and wisdom to get through every single challenge, every one.

Some women argue.  They claim to be ready for that soul mate to show up with all of their hearts.  Each tells a story of disappointment and regret.  I listen patiently and ask them what they dream of.  What is it they want in their deepest heart.  Many are too cynical to dream.  Most just need a wake up call to get back out there.

Jennifer has close friends and I hope that she is happy. I do wonder why she is still single.  I would love to ask her.  What about you?  What do you think?

Try this.  Stand in front of the mirror and say “I trust you completely” while looking into your own eyes.

You will learn something about yourself.

I have had some issues in the trust department.  Seems some of people I chose to open up to ended up being temporary people in my life. People who just passed through on their way to somewhere else.

My biggest hurts have come from the decisions I made to judge these abbreviated relationships as wrong.  They weren’t wrong as much as they were just different than what I expected and hoped for.

I have longed for closeness and connection for most of my life and yet I have also struggled to be open and vulnerable. I remember being shocked to learn that if I wanted a man who was open, vulnerable and emotionally available, there was one big obstacle I had to get around first. I needed to be willing to be open, vulnerable and emotionally available myself. Yikes.

My relationships are like a house of mirrors. Some of what I see still scares me and I feel I am careening like a ball in a pin ball machine.  I am also beginning to see humor in other relationships and I am laughing more at the sheer silliness of some of the daily drama.

To think….it is only reflections of me distorted by imperfections in the glass. I am seeing myself differently when I review my steps to see what got me here. I am attracting more and more of Larry’s gentlest and kindest self and it is delicious.

If you are one who answered no to my question and you don’t trust anyone yet.  And you know this is true even though you wish it wasn’t.  I have a bit of cheer leading for you. You will be amazed at how easy it can be to take baby steps in opening yourself up to the right person.

As you move forward using the principles of the Law of Attraction and tuning in with clarity and passion, you are going to attract the highest and best of the people who cross your path.

There will be a person who shows up to help  you practice your skills. You will know this person because of how wonderful you feel when you spend time together.  I know you have been hurt before when you trusted someone but you are different now.

You are stronger and you always land on your feet. Go ahead and move toward a friendship.  Take it slow and enjoy getting to know the other person.  Everyone has a story, take time to listen to this new person’s story.  Ask a lot of questions.

If everything feels smooth, lean in to the connection a little and test the waters. You will be surprised how easy it is to attract the highest and best in people.  Practicing kindness and curiosity is the quickest and easiest way to form mutually beneficial connections.

Building trust is the very best investment you can make.

“And before you know it, you’ll mostly be in appreciation. And that’s such a nice place to live.”  And So It Definitely Is!   Abraham Hicks

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

The 2010: The Destination of Your Dreams
by Debbie Ford

It’s so easy to make promises about the year ahead. You will follow your diet, be more financially responsible, be kinder to your spouse, spend more time at the gym…But, for most, the promises you make today will be empty dreams six months from now. So let’s examine this. I would suggest this happens because real change doesn’t occur when you just want something or wish for another reality. Real change happens when you feel genuinely inspired, turned on by possibility and unwilling to settle for anything less. It happens when you commit with all of yourself to a new way of life, to a new future. So how do you do this?

To feel inspired and lit up and to make room for optimism, enthusiasm, and lasting change, you must lighten your emotional load by addressing your past issues, your emotional blocks, your negative beliefs, your feelings of unworthiness and any infantile desires that drive you to repeatedly head off in a direction counter to your dreams. If you drop your commitments, it is not because you want to be seen as a quitter or a loser but because unconsciously you are more committed to an outdated self — an old identity that feels comfortable and safe even though it might have stopped serving you years ago. Often, psychological laziness will have you switch your life over to autopilot and fall asleep at the wheel rather than stay awake to what will fulfill your heart’s deepest desires and your soul’s purpose.

On this eve of a new year, a very fertile time to look over your past and commit to a new future, you can ask these simple questions to unload some old baggage and steer your life in the direction of a brilliant and thrilling future — the ride of your life.

1) What are your deepest desires for this new year?

2) What are you willing to give up to get them? What habits, limiting beliefs, unhealthy relationships or situations?

3) When did you become unwilling to do whatever it takes to have what you want?

4) What cravings or unmet needs will drive you away from your desired destination?

5) What structure of support will you need to ensure this new future?

6) Who could you count on to be your co-pilot to ensure that you will neither fall short of the runway nor overshoot your desired outcome? Who will help you stay awake?

If you wish to fly to new heights, begin by setting your sights on a destination you can reach and then create a flight plan, a map that will be your guide. And if at any time you don’t feel like following your flight path, stop, take a deep breath, call forth your vision for your future, then pick up your phone, dial your co-pilot and ask them to remind you that veering off your route really isn’t worth the pain of repeating the past. Veering off will only leave you in the same repetitive pattern of wanting, wishing, fantasizing, and then feeling intensely disappointed when you land at a destination other than the phenomenal future that awaits you.

So today, YOU have the power to choose the destination of your dreams, create a flight plan and stick to it. So gather your courage, your strength and your commitment and get onboard, making 2010 the most inspiring year of your life. Join Debbie for a free 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse program, a daily boost, on Oprah.com This amazing 21-Day course will help you clear out any old, negative patterns that may have been stopping you from manifesting the love of your life.

Check it out:  Consciousness Cleanse

When it feels like the next logical step – then it comes right in. So your work, as you stand in the absence of something wanted, is to pretend it, to imagine it, to become so familiar with the essence of what it would feel like when it comes, that even though it hasn't come, you still feel good. (You get this?) Even though my lover hasn't come yet, I'm excited about the idea of my lover coming. I'm anticipating. I feel excited about it. But if I'm depressed, if I'm discouraged, if "all the good ones are taken," then, it's not the next logical step.

- Abraham-Hicks –

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

Hi Soul Mates,

Morgana Rae tipped me on this fantastic article by author Ton Pascal. Enjoy!

Only once in every 20 years, the blue moon appears on New Year’s Eve, as it will this year. On a plain physical level what is happening is that the moon is out of phase with the days. For it to make its complete cycle it’s about 29.5 days. It doesn’t coincide with our month, and that’s why it is out of sync with our Julian calendar. It’s the occurrence of two full moons in one month, which happens every two years, hence the popular quotation “once in a Blue Moon” which means ‘not very often.’ On average, there will be 41 months that have two Full Moons in every century, so you could say that once in a Blue Moon actually means once every two-and-a-half years.

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

“Your physical exposure to your physical world is providing the contrast that is necessary for you to form your opinions and desires about how life could be improved.  And even though you cannot see them, and are often unaware of them, your desires for improvement shoot out from you as Vibrational rockets, or messengers of request.

They shoot out into the Vibrational atmosphere in the same way as the original rockets that created your planet were sent; and they are received by the Source of the Energy that creates worlds, the same Source Energy that is the origin of All-That-Is. And those ideas, requests and desires are understood; and in the moment of their launch—they are answered….

The part that is most often misunderstood, or overlooked by our human friends is that in the living of physical life and in the launching of those rockets of desired expansion, it is not only an expanded world your are creating—it is an expanded YOU.”

Abraham Hicks, The Vortex, page 176

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

Hi Soul Mates,

Just like Scrooge was haunted by the ghost of Christmas past, I still am occasionally visited by the ghosts of my past relationships. My breakups were all the right thing to do. Looking back I know that each of those men was an important part of who I am as a woman today.

But it still hurts, if I let it.

Is this true for you too? If so, you may be able to help me out. I want to create a practical book for moving on after love ends. I am interviewing men and women about their experiences. I am especially interested in those relationships that seem impossible to let go of.

My wish is to expedite the process so people can jettison the emotional residue and get out there and attract the True Love waiting for them.

If you have a break up story, are stuck between partners fearful to move on or have any tricks and tips about getting over lost love, I would LOVE to speak to you! Don't worry, all names will be changed, you can be completely anonymous.

All you need to do is to add a comment to this post  and I will contact you to set up an appointment.

If we put our heads together, I believe we can help a lot of people truly access the Law of Attraction and draw in the love of a life time.

Love and Magic,
Catherine

PS I am putting together a dynamic series of interactive teleseminars for 2010 that will be $47 per class. As a thank you for your help in my break up book project, I will send you a $47 coupon so you can attend a class as my guest!

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

Well, it is 60 degrees and sunny here in Southern California and I am feeling nostalgic.

Milwaukee is due for a heavy snowfall before Christmas and my two adult children will be celebrating with their dad. We have been divorced for several years and everything has settled into place. My ex and I don’t see each other much but our kids enjoy a good relationship with each of us.

I’m happy about that but I still feel an echo of sadness that our original family didn’t have the lasting power I hoped it would. The first couple of times that the kids were with their dad on a holiday, I got blindsided by sadness. I was surprised because I really am happy that they all get along so well.

Larry seems to always say the right thing when I am feeling disjointed. He reminds me that it is normal to feel sad about missing what might have been. He has been divorced for years longer than me. He still feels left out at times when his son and family are busy with their mom.

What I wish for this Christmas, for me, my hubby and all of us, is that we can become nostalgic for holiday memories in the past and carefully pick and choose the images that were priceless.

None of us married with a plan to get divorced. Life meanders along and these things happen. How sad if we lose the preciousness of memories of our kids’ innocent holiday experiences.

So I am enjoying my nostalgia. Sure, I may cry a bit as I take the inner journey to the past. This year instead of picking on myself about it, I am going to pat my inner self on the back and say….”Good for you! You are feeling real feelings and you are going to pass through the sadness.”

So in celebration of the positive parts of my past, I am sharing some of my favorite holiday memories with you:

1. I was always up to the wee hours with Christmas details, procrastination was always an issue. One year, I swear I was only in bed for an hour and I heard something in the livingroom. I peeked out there and found my young daughter building the Barbie Ice Cream Parlor for herself in the glow of Christmas tree lights. It was tough to convince her that even though Santa had come, she needed to sleep for a couple more hours.

2. In later years, we always allowed the kids to empty their Christmas stockings without our presence so we could sleep in til it was light out. One of my most favorite memories was when the kids filled surprise stockings for their dad and me. I was moved to tears by the selection of thoughtful little surprises they picked.

3. Like my mom before me, I put out cookies and milk for Santa and a couple of carrots for the reindeer. In the morning, I laid out red paper footprints leading from the treats to the fireplace. Of course, my husband and I nibbled on the cookies and left a bit of carrot….evidence of the Big Guy’s visit.

4. Another family tradition was to put up the Christmas nativity scene early in December. I kept the baby Jesus until Christmas morning so the manger was empty. We encouraged the kids to report to us when they saw anyone in the house doing a good deed. The good deed doer had the privilege of putting a straw in the manger….so baby Jesus would be more comfortable. What a great way to turn the tables on the steady stream of tattle taling that went on.

5. Snow Ice Cream. Oh yes, I can remember this from my childhood and passing the tradition to my kids. When snow was freshly fallen, we would fill a coffee cup with the white stuff and then pour maple syrup on it! YUM!

What about you? Are there some Christmas traditions you recall with a smile on your face?

If Christmas is sad for you this year, I am sending a HUGE electronic hug to you. It may sting now but it will get better. I promise. No one can take the sweet memories from you. As my now husband says to me every year…part of your life with your ex was really good. We were all wide eyed and hopeful about our lives. If your marriage didn’t make it, accept it, forgive yourself for your part in it all and reach out to your friends for company.

Remember, what you focus on expands. If you catch yourself moping around, gently remind yourself to focus on something that makes you feel better. It will get easier.

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous