I remember when my ex brought home a 20 pound box of tuna steaks he bought from a guy running a fish market from the back of a truck.

“It was a great deal.” he crowed.

Yeah, if you like frozen tuna filets.  We had that surplus of fish in our small freezer for months.  Today, my now hubby brought home a 10# bag of spuds.  I laughed, “This is enough for a small army!”  He didn’t see my humor.  “It was a great deal!” He crowed too.

Which begs the question.  Do guys have a fetish for bulk pricing?

I buy two potatoes at a time because they are on the menu for the evening’s feast.  It seems nonsensical for me to use valuable refrigerator real estate on bulk veggies that more than likely will go bad before we eat them.  No, says my darling, the cost per potato makes bulk buying the better deal even if we lose a couple of the poor puppies in the process.

What’s a girl to do?  I giggle at extra large family size boxes of instant rice and shredded wheat.   He gets such a kick out of saving in bulk buying, I suppose it is the least I can do to just sit back and watch.  After all, if he is happy, then I am happy.  Just because I don’t understand his choices, doesn’t mean they are invalid or inappropriate.

What is it in ME that makes me question his love of a bulky bargain?  Hmmm.

What do you think?  Is it a guy thing?  Do YOU buy in bulk?

I know you are lonely.

Spring is almost here and you see couples holding hands everywhere you go  and you are dreading being alone…again.

I know that the economy is depressing and you are surrounded with annoying people day and night.

I also know that you can do something about it.

Did you know that focused attention to any one of the five senses brings you physiologically into the present. Where your body leads, your mind will follow. When one of your senses is consciously engaged you can feel you body relax, if you are paying attention, and that will calm you. You will actually feel better. The body always feels better when it is relaxed.

When you are in the present, aware of your physical world, you are actually more attractive to those people who will bring fun and love into your life!!

Let your nose lead the way and choose aromas you are drawn to during creative or productive times of day. Bring something that smells amazing into your home. Be willing to invest in yourself in this small way. When attracted to a scent, buy it. Then choose to notice it.

Here are five ways to connect to your nose, it does know best, after all!!

1. Get several aromatic candles. Visit a candle store and just keep smelling them until you find one you really like. If you don’t like any of them, just wait til a different time and try again. You will be drawn to certain aromas. Invest in that aroma and when you get it home, enjoy it consciously.

2. Bring fresh flowers into your home. This is a simple thing to do. Find a farmer’s market near you and shop there the same way. See which ones smell the best to you. I often buy two bouquets at a time. Even super markets carry aromatic bunches year round. Of course, you do have to put up with the side effect of stunning beauty that now lives in your environment!

3. Go Outside. Go outside on purpose three more times than you typically do every day for a week. Three calculated times and during each one, smell deeply. Close your eyes and smell deeply. Make it a goal that at least three times that week, you get to a beautiful place, park, zoo, beach, museum, and focus on what those places smell like. Breathe it in.

3. Open the windows. Even if it is cold outside, just go open the windows and let air in every room. Amazing how we don’t think to do that. Allowing a stream of air run through your home will always leave you feeling refreshed. Notice how different the house smells when you have opened it up.

4. Light Incense. Incense has been used for thousands of years to transform the energy of a room. There are certain scents who have specific properties that inspire various moods. When you go to an incense shop. Smell them first before you see what they are good for. You will be drawn by what you like.

5. Oil Rings. At your neighborhood New Age shop, you can find oil essences and a ring that goes around a light bulb. As the bulb gets warm, a gentle fragrance fills the room. This can be more subtle than incense.

Just focusing on what you are smelling, making conscious choices to smell things on purpose for a week will bring you to a real sense of presence. Body awareness is the key to outrageous self confidence.

Try it for a week, I dare ya!

Bonus Exercise: Just choose to enjoy the aromas that are around you every day when you slice in to an orange, grind your coffee, walk in to a barbecue place or make toast, I won’t tell anybody!

Bonus Romance Reward: When you are “in the moment”, aware of what it is your are sensing with your body at any one moment, you are your authentic self and right in that moment you are attracting the love you are desiring. Spend as many of these moments as you can, that’s right, spend them. You are investing those moments of awareness and relaxing the body are you at your best. Who wouldn’t fall in love with that in a woman.

Be A Love Detective Part 1

“My husband never says, I love you anymore.”

Why is it that men are so resistant to the “L” word?

Why is it that women are so addicted to it?

Does saying “I love you” really matter?

What? You say.

Of course it matters. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t love me.

Wait just a moment….did you say that a man cannot love you without saying I love you?

Think about that one for a minute.

Is it possible for a man to love you WITHOUT telling you so? And why is it so bleeping important to HEAR those three little words.

That being said, is it also possible that our addiction to hearing those three words closes us to other expressions of love that are right in front of our noses?

I want to throw another perspective unto the table.

What if we women could back off on our insistence that love be expressed on our terms and our terms only?

What if we could become Love Detectives and search out the clues that lead to our understanding of just how much our men DO care for us?

What if we could put aside our need to hear those words and instead begin celebrating the clues we find?

I am listening……

I can just hear some of you screaming in protest! “I already do most of the work and don’t want to be a Love Detective! I want him to shape up!”

I know, I know but believe me, your man will step up to the plate when you take some of the pressure off of him. Believe it or not, he is doing the best he can. He has no idea how to make you feel loved and you and I both know that men don’t like to be in situations where they may appear weak and clueless.

So what to do? Tune in next post and I will lay out the plan…..

I know this will come as a real shock to you…..but….some men think they are always right!!

I don’t know what it is…but there is something deep in the hearts of many men that will not let them admit that they don’t know everything.

Now we sweet female types…..we do see right through it…..and that makes your man work even harder to be right!

One of my clients was trying to tell her husband that he said NO to her for every thing she asked. Of course, he said ‘No, he didn’t’! She decided to put it to a test…and here is how it went….

She: Do you want to see a movie?
He: No

She: Do you want to go for a walk?
He: No

She: Can we talk for a few minutes?
He: No

She: Could you help me carry this box?
He: No

Finally….in total frustration she said to him…..

Do you want to have sex?

He said NO before he even thought about what she said!!

Needless to say….she finally got his attention. This couple got a big laugh out of this and that broke the tension…..but they still had work to do.

So….what can you do if your man insists that he is right about everything?

There is an AMAZING AND POWERFUL TOOL THAT RARELY FAILS….it is so powerful, not everyone can handle it…..

ARE YOU UP FOR THE CHALLENGE? I hope so because it could just change your relationship forever! Are you ready……..

AGREE WITH HIM…….you read correctly…..AGREE WITH HIM…..WHENEVER YOU CAN.

You may be in a pattern where you argue about big things and little things with the same passion. This is the perfect time to try this technique. There are so many things you don’t really need to be “right” about.

Look in the mirror and practice saying…..”You’re right about that.” It doesn’t hurt that bad…..I promise!!!

Telling him he is right about something will surprise him and while he is getting over the shock…..you say what you have to say.

For example…..

He says….”Your friend Darcy is always calling you during dinner.”
You say….”You’re right about that but she needs a friend.”

He says…..”But we need you too and I want to eat together as a family.”
You say….”You’re right, I can tell her I will call her back after dinner.”

If you can stop disagreeing about the small things……it won’t be long before you will be talking calmly about important things.

Dr. Wayne Dyer says “When you have a choice to be right or to be kind….always choose to be kind.”

It takes a strong person to live up to this…..and one strong person is often enough to start building a better relationship.